SET YOUR RINGTONE TO "EVAPORATE"
I worked in a call centre for a cellular phone company. And I received the following call:
Me: Thank you for holding, my name is Sithe.
Customer: Hi, my phone does not evaporate.
Me: I don’t understand Ma'am, what do you mean by "does not evaporate"?
Customer: It doesn’t evaporate, it only rings.
That’s when I realized that she meant that her phone does not vibrate!
LET'S START WITH THE BASICS. IS THIS THING ON??
I thought I’d share 2 of my favourite calls with you. These are both calls I have taken myself, the second call has occurred with different customers 32 times over the last 4 years! Nicole (Mobile Technical Support for an Australian telco)
Customer: (screaming abuse) You sold me this mobile 4 months ago and it hasn’t worked for the last 3 months, I’m going to sue you all, and you are going to credit me for the charges on the last 3 months bill and send me a new mobile right now (more abuse)
Me: How is the phone not working?
Customer: (more abuse) it doesn’t receive calls, it can’t make calls, it won’t do anything, it’s broken (more abuse and litigation threats)
Me: What does the screen of the phone say at the moment?
Customer: Nothing, it’s all black, like it has been for the last 3 months
Me: There’s a small button on the very top, can I get you to hold it, and keep holding it for about 10 seconds.
(the customer does this and the operator hears an "Oh")
Me: Can you tell me what’s happening on the phone now?
Customer: It, uh, seems to be working, there’s, uh, lights on and it says ‘xxxxxx’ (company name)
Me: Ok, it seems that your mobile hasn’t been turned on for the last 3 months. Anytime you want to use it, make sure it’s charged and make sure it’s turned on.
...Audible click as the customer hangs up.
Customer: I can’t make calls from my mobile!
Me: Ok, can I get you to turn the mobile off for a moment?
COLOR IT ANY WAY YOU WANT!
I had a customer call in to place an order. While I was verifying her address which was in Orangeburg, I mis-spoke her city name calling it "Greensburg." Without missing a beat, I said, "Oh, I'm sorry! I must be color blind." The customer started laughing and we continued to laugh throughout the call.